HA!

I have just looked up some train times prices. I want a return that spans two days (Monday-Tuesday). To buy two single tickets will cost me £4.80. For a return, £375.00.

HA!

Stupid peice of rubbish headphones

My mp3 player has a stupid 2.5mm headphone jack (the norm is 3.5mm). This means that it's somewhat difficult to find headphones that fit and are decent. I thought I had tracked some down. Alas, 'twas not to be. They have now a) broken and b) made my ear hurt. If anyone has some 2.5mm headphones or £399.99 so I can buy an iPhone, I will be eternally grateful.

I didn't do anything

In the recent spate of 'I hate public transport' posts, I would just like to protest my innocence and state that I never ranted about public transport. I merely stated in an MSN name that it had flaws ("the only problem with public transport is the public. And the transport.") I did not begin an endless tirade of spite towards the various people involved in the provision of transport for the people.

So now, I will do my bit. I do not like public transport. I find it annoying that my life needs to be dictated by a little piece of paper. However, for a system which must do that and that is probably quite underfunded, it is good at what it does. We expect buses to be late, and so make allowances and alternatives. I also like to take an example of a wonderful idea called a 'book.' The trains are expensive and some of them are falling apart, but they get us from A to B (most of the time). The London Underground is not at all like the song.

Public transport could be considerably better, but it is not attrocious, and is certainly better than the transportation methods that I have seen in some places.

The Public, however, are not so forgivable. I understand that people work hard, have had long days and just want to go home, but whatever time it is, I cannot abide bad manners, and so if people are rude I get irritated quickly, and will retort. Loudly.

So long as you don't take any crap on the transport, they are tolerable. I think everyone should stop moaning and have a cup of tea instead.

Incidentally, Bernie, rather than burning your face off with antiseptic, there is this wonderful invention called 'soap.' You may find it less painful. Alternatively, if some random guy tries to touch you, just whack him. I know you're weak, but that's why God gave women stilettos and men eyes. They should meet.

It's going to go wrong.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/3188748/Bugs-to-be-brought-in-to-control-foreign-superweed-invading-the-UK.html

Is it just me who thinks that this is going to end badly? We shall soon be taken over by evil bug monsters. I, however, have a plan. Don't bring them here. Just use some powerful Roundup. All shall be fine.

Oops...what does that do?

After discussing it today, I worked out that by the time I go to medical school (if all goes well), I will have had next to no dissection experience, just a heart and a kidney. I will then be expected to cut up a dead human being. Should be interesting.

Actually, I can't wait.

Incidentally, experiments make me hungry.

Hang on a minute.

I have been thinking, and have reached a conclusion. Global Warming should in fact reduce sea levels.

When an object is placed in a fluid, water is displaced (Archimede's Principle: "any body fully or partially submerged in a fluid is buoyed up by a force equal to the weight of the fluid displaced.") Water is the only substance that gets larger when frozen. Around 90% of an iceberg is underwater. Therefore, when an iceberg (or the polar ice caps) melt, the 90% that is in the water is decreasing is size. The 10% that is above the water line does contribute to rising sea levels, but this is dramatically out-done by the 90% underwater to counter this. As a result, the volume of the water decreases, creating a decrease in sea levels.

Clearly, I must be wrong, because everyone else says that sea levels are going to drown and Norfolk will become the new Atlantis, but I think it's quite a good hypothesis, apart from the fact that it was poorly worded. If anyone can point out why I'm wrong, I would be most grateful.

Update: I've worked out why I'm wrong. Water expands as it heats in addition to when it freezes. Oops.

I'd never thought of that...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7648460.stm

My gosh. The thought had never occurred to me. People who spend more time off sick die younger. Breakthrough of the century.

Seeing red

I hate traffic lights.