Keep Right

Perhaps I have a superior level of brain power that had previously gone unnoticed. I doubt it, but otherwise, how is it that I can manage to stand to the right on an escalator, and others cannot? If there is no sign saying 'Keep Right' then perhaps the miscreant can be forgiven, but when on a tube escalator, where people could well be in a rush and the signs are clear and frequent, it's just rude. And before you pipe up with, "what if they can't read it," the man I'm thinking about was a yank. You could tell by the sandles with socks, the equator around his waste and the fact that he spoke very loudly in his very annoying accent about very dull things. America is supposed to have an adult literacy rate of 99%, so that man had no excuse, except for being an anti-social halfwit.

I don't intend to sound mean, but just recently I've been travelling through London a fair bit, and the monumental amount of stupid actions I have seen is starting to worry me. For example, there are suits clamouring their way up the escalator, which is being blocked by our good friend Joe from above, and yet next to them there is a completely clear escalator. Not a soul on it. The only down-side is that this escalator isn't working, but they'd still get to the top that little bit quicker.

Or there are the people (well, tourists) who decided suddenly, when walking down a crowded street, that they need to look at their map. So they stop. No moving to the side, out of the way, but instead just standing there like a tower in the middle. I know that not all tourists are like that - I, for example, am wonderfully civil and polite - but the ones that stand out are the ones who make me mutter under my breath and wish I had the power to banish people.

I now have a reason to become a knight. Previously, I just wanted to be Sir for laugh, but when I get my knighthood, I shall abuse it, and visitors to these lands shall behave themselves or feel my wrath.