Earth troubles

I have realised what is going on. The snow that has fallen on the UK recently, causing the country to grind to a halt, was not just a weather pattern passing through. It is the beginning of an alien invasion. In each of the 'snowflakes' that falls, a tiny alien particle is carried. These then melt, and as they flow into the drainage network, the particles combine to form an alien race.

For some reason, the aliens decided that the UK would be the perfect target but, hey you can't be geniuses all of the time.

Whatever their deluded reasoning, we must fight! All willing volunteers are required to put themselves forward (utilising the cunning 'comments' box), and they shall be equipped with a black suit, some sunglasses, either a really old black car or a fantastic new Mercedes, a talking dog and a flashy light. And no one will ever have known that you existed.

Step forward, brave humans. Fight for your nation. Lose your finger-prints. Get a head-set for your mobile phone!

And remember. If I am gone by the time you reach me, the aliens got here first. I have discovered their weakness, though. If you see a little person running towards you, kick him in the nadgers. They will either evaporate and die, or you'll have a very angry midget lying on the floor, screaming. It's a risk you have to take. Good luck and Godspeed.