I have returned. I'm sure you missed me hugely.

If you were going on holiday, you'd want to start it with something great, wouldn't you? Perhaps you win the lottery, or get engaged, or are told you are clear of cancer. Well, I don't play the lottery, have nobody to propose to and don't have cancer, so those options weren't available to me. You'll never guess what I did instead. I (this bit's great). I got tonsilitis. YAY!

Or maybe not.

Flew out on Saturday (up at 4.45, groan) with a sore throat, assumed it was tiredness. Still there Sunday morning, self-diagnosed with tonsilities. But of course, in France, nowhere is open on a Sunday. So that's two days where it hurt to swallow, and I like to do that a lot. Plus, I had to stay inside to try to control my temperature, which wasn't that great. And I was still shivering.

But then, on Monday, we went to see a lovely French doctor who spoke very good English (thank God) and gave me a load of pills. One of which gave me a nosebleed on the drive home.

Despite all this, I actually quite enjoyed my French holiday. No Frenchman caused me to shoot at, and I generally remembered to speak in French (it wasn't that I forgot to speak foreign, that was easy, it's just that if I'm speaking foreign, I instinctively assume it means German, which doesn't always go down well).

Plus I got to drive a tractor-mower (before the tonsilitis revealed itself), which is great fun. And then, to top it all off, my Dad is going to take me driving on real public roads during his lunch break. I have wanted to do this since I was about 4. Yays all round, I think. Now just to do the train journey back without any bleeding, and I'll be a very happy chappy. Wish me luck.